Kelvin's 5 fanfiction links

The Price of Sacrifice-LOTR fanfiction

Description: This is a story about a soldier named Beregond who loyally defends his captain, Faramir from the Steward, Denethor who attempts to burn his son when he went insane from the death of Boromir. During his attempt, he slew two of his good men which he regretted instantly. As the story progress, it expands mostly on how he dealt with it and the price he had to pay for the action all the while confronting the main characters which might be the judge of him. Towards the end, he resolved this issue and the story ends in a good tone. Mostly set on Beregond's side of the story and during the Return of the King period.

Critique: In all my life, I never seen a LOTR so finely composed. The spelling, the grammar, the punctuation and structure is all top-notch, obviously well edited or either the author is an impressive writer. The characters stayed in character, evidenced by the author's vast knowledge on the LOTR. The titular headlines also derived the theme of this story which is really convenient. The plot for one, is interesting when Linda herself insert an OC into it and the way she developed her OC. There are no plot-holes, the author keep the description of the characters to a minimum to focus on developing the plot of her OC. But it's near perfect because she tends to drag some scenes such the battle of mordor and describe Beregond's son too much
Ultimate sacrifice-Digimon Tamers fanfiction

Description: This is a "What If" fanfiction. It depicts Takato in a situation after the D-Reaper incident where he and his partner, Guilmon had been shunned by others. Takato himself, is burdened with intense insecurity because he thought he was in fault of causing his friends to reject him. When a wild digimon named SkullMammothmon appears and the others are fighting a losing battle, Takato decides whether to save them or not. He choose the former. By saving them in the process of sacrificing himself in the guise of Gallantmon(fusion of Takato and Guilmon), his action makes his friends come to realization that they are the ones in fault in the first place and build a memorial in hopes of amending for their behaviours. In the end, all of their actions indeed are forgiven by Gallantmon.


Critique: In my opinion, the writer needs to world on his spelling more e.g title. Grammar  has a few errors. Punctuation needs some work, exemplified by the ""she thought part. It should be "",she thought. Hmm, song needs to be bold because it can be really hard to distinguish which is music and which is story. Somehow, the song paid a pivotal role in the story.  The song itself displays his rejection by others and towards the end, realization when it's too late. Characters are pretty OOC except Takato and story is not edited. I'm happy that the story makes sense however if it come to this conclusion. The short is nowhere confusing. The plot is really decent, which makes this a decent story.

Embarassed-The Simpson fanfiction

Description: A one-shot of a random scene between Milton and Lisa. It started from a talk about Milford's past relationship to the point where Milton finally confessed to Lisa when Milton learn what a kiss is from Lisa.

Critique: Hardly, an embarrassing moment except in some point in the story e.g when Milton is startled and when he want out from this embarrassing conversation. It's more towards  teen-teen romance but using two person, Lisa and Milton to portray it. Everything's fine, good short but some grammar error like "How kissing". It should be "How to Kiss." I agree on the characters being OOC but could not help but laugh at the "interrogation" and the kissing scene, it's pure gold.

Study!-Digimon Zero Two fanfiction

Description: This is a shorts putting Daisuke or Davis in the English shitty dub in a situation where studies for his final year exam. The teacher assign a new tutor because he end up screwing up his past tutors every time he gets one. When his new tutor turns out to be Hikari or Kari in the shitty dub, he began taking lessons from her, not really annoying because he knows her. When Daisuke got an A+, he was rewarded a kiss by Hikari and mused that he wants to do it more in the future. It ends with Daisuke and Hikari confessing their feelings to each other.

Critique: Full of errors, plot-holes and unfathommbale. I could not even get what he is trying tell me. This story should be about studying but degenerate towards romance?Sure, Daisuke has feelings for Hikari but to be done by tutor-student relationship, the foundation is pretty weak. First of all, shouldn't he be thankful for her for helping him achieve his result instead doing all those kissing-kissing scene? Inserting it earlier ? Either way, this is a pathetic excuse of a fiction. Refine it then we're talking.

Sailor Moon N-Sailor Moon fanfiction

Description: In an alternate dimension, darkness had taken over Earth. By chance, a boy stole a wishing ball from Queen Beryl, ruler of the Negaverse wishing for someone in order to save this world from the clutches of darkness. He gets Naru, a friend of Serena Usagi Tsukino who takes on the mantle of Sailor Moon of this universe and saved the day.

Critique: A very interesting twist, albeit abrupt.What happened to Jedite? Did he disappear or anything? Looking at this, it looks like a typical magical girl saving the day type of story. The action scenes seems abit dull, the monster easily fall without a struggle. A few grammatical error but no big. However, the story seems incomplete. Good attempt at re-iterating the intro of sailor moon though.